


hunger

by teumefromthesea (itsbluexx)



Category: TREASURE (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drama, Drinking, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, M/M, Not Beta Read, Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:01:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26444587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsbluexx/pseuds/teumefromthesea
Summary: [ Canon Compliant ]Park Jihoon is known for his self-control over indulgences but there's one craving that he just cannot ignore any longer.
Relationships: Choi Hyunsuk/Park Jihoon, Park Jihoon & Ha Yoonbin
Comments: 98
Kudos: 270





	1. prologue

Blanket on the floor, forgotten and wrecked. Hands wandering, never thought of stopping.

Park Jihoon is starving-- painfully aching for skin, for touch, for _anything_ the man under him can give him tonight. It's been a lifetime of staring from a far, longing for something other than a slight pat on the back or hand rested on the shoulder. He wants more, more of the person he falls for four fucking years.

So when the time finally arrived, would you blame the man for feeling so much passion he could barely hold it in. Dangerously close to ripping the other expensive shirt or throw an endless amount of necklace he wears out of the window.

"Jihoonie, wait--"

_No, I've waited long enough,_ Jihoon would say if his mouth isn't busy sucking kisses along the other's jaw. Talking isn't necessary right now, because tonight there will be no love confessions or faint whispers.

Tonight there will be a feast; one that served a beautiful, moaning Choi Hyunsuk.


	2. spicy thoughts

The hunger first appears when Jihoon feels heat when his skin in contact with Hyunsuk's. A brush of finger on his arm feels like a burn mark. Jihoon brushes it off immediately, catching both Hyunsuk and himself by surprise.

They were in the middle of dance practice, a routine to replace the uncertainness that come after the company decided to postpone Treasure's debut. Each member is experiencing the same kind of heartache; of disappointment mixed with sadness after the sweet promises that were given to them. Everyone's feelings are out of control, so Hyunsuk assumes Jihoon's reaction is a result of the situation they were in.

(Well, he assumes wrong.)

Hyunsuk offers an apologetic smile. "Do you wanna get dinner after this?"

"Uh, sure," answers Jihoon.

The eldest nods before turning his attention to the other members.

Jihoon is left with his thoughts. The heat is still there, creeping under the skin that was touched by the eldest. Jihoon also feels a faint growl inside his stomach and dryness on his throat, even though he just drank half of his tumbler.

_Maybe it's the diet,_ Jihoon naively concludes, blaming the lack of comfort food he consumed these days.

So, Jihoon dismisses the feelings and continue his business as usual, oblivious of the drought that awaits him ahead.

-

"Hello, children!" 

Jihoon ceremoniously announces his presence when he steps into Hyunsuk's dorm on one sunny Sunday, carrying two boxes of freshly baked pizza. The response is within his prediction as Jeongwoo and Jaehyuk, who’s been lounging on the living room, are instantly on their feet; eyes so wide like they just discovered a gold mine.

"All hail the Mighty Park Jihoon!"

"Make way for the Mighty Park Jihoon!"

The cuddle duo usher Jihoon to the kitchen, shouting in excitement and mostly, relief, that they finally can eat something else than boiled chicken breasts.

Jihoon lays down the pizza on the table for the members to dig in.

"You're not gonna eat, hyung?" Jeongwoo blurts out in between his pizza bites.

Jihoon sneers. "Nah, I'm not weak like you guys." The muscle-man always prided himself for having the strongest self-control over indulgences than any members.

But the present members don’t seem to care as they continue to stuff their throats with more pepperoni and cheese.

Jihoon looks around before asking, "Where are the others?"

"Junkyu-hyung is napping. Haruto is upstairs. Hyunsuk-hyung was in the bathroom earlier? But I think he's back in his room," replies Jaehyuk who's already picking his second slice.

Jihoon nods. He considers shouting to let the others know about the pizza, but he doesn't want to disturb the resident koala so he decides to knock on Hyunsuk's room instead.

"Hyung, you're busy?"

"No, what's wrong?" A muffled reply can be heard from the other side. Jihoon takes it as permission to push the door open.

What greets him is a half-naked Choi Hyunsuk.

"Oh, Jihoonie. What's wrong?" The leader unabashedly stands in front of his guest, wearing nothing but grey sweatpants that loosely hang over his small hips. A landscape of white skin, glistening after a hot shower, with droplets of water trailing the center of a finely defined chest.

Jihoon swears his heart stops for a second.

All of a sudden, everything's feels barren. Mouth, throat, even his fucking stomach. Like a wildfire breaks out and it's burning Jihoon inside out. On top of that, something is growling, deep inside his body. A sound of hunger as if he's been eating nothing but the wind for the past few days.

Jihoon is parched and famished and too stunned to speak or move.

"Jihoonie?" Hyunsuk asks again, taking a step toward Jihoon, which undo the trance Jihoon's in and enabling the younger leader to properly function as a human again.

"I bought pizza."

Hyunsuk's face brightens up instantly. "Really? Awesome!" The eldest turns around, grabbing a T-Shirt laid on his bed. "Let me put some clothes first."

_You don't have to,_ Jihoon absentmindedly thinks, before he stops his train of thoughts as he realizes there is something _clearly_ wrong with him right now.

Jihoon hurriedly retreats back to his own dorm, making petty excuses about being tired to Hyunsuk and the others, and proceed to lock himself in his room until dinner.

He needs to figure shits out before things get worse.

-

(For Jihoon, it's not love at first sight, or second or third. It's the kind of love that grows within time, slowly, surely. It is love that forged by sleepless nights of practicing choreos and shitty jokes. It is love that keeps him sane when the heavy pressures of being back as YG trainee and participant of survival show feels too much. It's a quiet kind of love, like a gentle lull of lullaby whenever he sees Hyunsuk smiles or laughs or looks at him with all the tenderness in the world that Jihoon knows he could never have.

It is love that he thought he would get over it eventually.

But no, the universe seems to have other plans, as the love grows into something intense and dangerous and it takes over him like a parasite.)

-

It haunts Jihoon for days; the image of Hyunsuk's smooth chest and lean hips and the feeling of regret for not having enough courage to tug those sweatpants down and discover what's under. It's not like it's the first time Jihoon sees Hyunsuk half-naked but somehow, these days, the circumstances change. Because now, most nights, Jihoon wonders what it's like to be the water that trails Hyunsuk's body, touching every part of him; every skin, every curve, down from his neck to his collarbone to his light-brown nipples that beg to be played and sucked and--

"Stop it!"

Jihoon sudden shout startles the other person in the studio. It's half-past eleven at night and the only one left is Yoon Bin and Hyunsuk. The latter is currently out of the room, talking to the staff concerning Treasure7 schedule.

Yoon Bin is in the middle of writing lyrics before he stops entirely and turns to Jihoon, worried etching his face. "You're okay, bud?"

Which Jihoon answers with a long, heavy sigh.

"No, I'm screwed."

"Something you wanna share with the class?"

Jihoon shakes his head. Not once he considers telling other people, even his old friend and anchor, about his crush to Choi Hyunsuk. Especially now when that crush evolves into a nasty, pathetic desire for flesh.

Jihoon stands up from his seat, feeling tired than ever and ready to collapse on his bed. "I'm going first. See you."

Jihoon leaves the studio without waiting for the other to reply back, unaware of the concern from people that cares about him.

-

After taking a quick shower, Jihoon changes into comfy pajamas and buries himself under the sheet. But much to his dismay, sleep never come. His eyes stare into the darkness of his room; ears hearing the buzzing noises of the city outside while his thoughts wander into the dirtiest, most sinful part of his mind.

Jihoon groans out loud, cursing everything that happened but mostly, at himself. He still can't believe he's sexually frustrated with his own best friend slash longtime crush. He breathes out heavily, hesitating for a second or two before finally succumbing to his hunger.

But just as his hand sneaks under his pants, a knock on the door interrupts him.

"Jihoonie."

The man freezes.

"You're still awake? It's Hyunsuk."

Oh, Jihoon wants to fucking _die._

The younger leader considers feigning sleep when another knock rings.

"I just wanna make sure you're okay. Yoon Bin said you're kinda upset with something."

If Jihoon can strangle Yoon Bin right now, he would do it in a heartbeat. But then again, this just shows how much he is loved by his friends and even he cannot disregard their feelings easily.

After a few seconds of calming himself down, Jihoon sits up.

"Come in, hyung."

The door opens to reveal a soft-looking Hyunsuk; brown hair still wet from a shower, wearing his iconic shark slippers, sweatpants, and a loose t-shirt with a wide neckline that reveals so much of his collarbone, Jihoon already regrets his decision to let the other in.

"Everyone knows you can't sleep when you're upset, Jihoonie."

"Do they? Or is it just you, hyung? You're a busy-body, after all."

Hyunsuk chuckles before placing himself beside Jihoon on the bed. The proximity makes the latter a little uncomfortable for reasons he really doesn't want Hyunsuk to know, so Jihoon leans further back inside the bed until his back pressed against the wall.

If Hyunsuk notices anything strange about Jihoon's sudden act of avoidance, the eldest doesn't say anything.

"So, what's on your mind, Jihoonie?"

Jihoon doesn't know how to answer the question, so he just keeps his mouth shut.

"Is it about our debut?" Hyunsuk continues, frowning in concern. "We're gonna be fine, you know. The producer himself said our debut it's either at the end of the year or early next year. Until then, we're just gonna have to... hold on."

Jihoon notices the somber tone from Hyunsuk. Jihoon knows the eldest is trying his best to be 'the rock' of the group; someone steady and calm who consistently reminds everyone that their dreams didn't end, it's just being held off until the scandals, the rumors, the hate calm down.

Hyunsuk turns his back to Jihoon, shoulder slumped forward. "We've come a long way, Jihoonie. I know everything sucks right now, but if you're like, mad or sad about something, you can talk to me, you know? It's doesn't matter if we're both leaders of two different groups, me, Yoon Bin, and the others are always there--"

Jihoon _really_ wants to empathize with Hyunsuk, patting his back and agreeing to every single word he says, but his cursed brain seems to only focus on how Hyunsuk's t-shirt neckline is slipping over his left shoulder, exposing the smooth skin that's been poisoning his mind with lewd scenarios.

Jihoon clenches his hand tight on the sheet, closing his eyes in order to stop watching the unintentional seduction the eldest displays.

"--Jihoonie, are you sleeping?"

Jihoon blinks open to see a concerned Hyunsuk looking over his exposed shoulder, with pouty lips and half-dried hair and suddenly, Jihoon is _fucked_.

On a spur of a moment, Jihoon pulls Hyunsuk's arm, abruptly pressing the eldest into his chest.

"Jihoonie, what--" Hyunsuk's surprise remarks don't stop Jihoon to sink his face into Hyunsuk's shoulder while bounding the other's body with his arms. Hyunsuk smells of soaps and faint perfumes and Jihoon decides he never wants to leave this place.

Seconds pass by in silence. Hyunsuk must have thought Jihoon is feeling so sad that he needs a hug as the eldest reassuringly pats Jihoon's head.

But _that_ is far from the truth.

The hunger is back, emerging from deep inside Jihoon. His mouth feels dry like Jihoon has been lost in the desert without food or water, aimlessly searching for an oasis. Finally, Jihoon finds one.

So like a starving man, he takes a bite.

"Ack!"

Hyunsuk yelps, shocked at the sudden pain on his shoulder.

"What the hell, Jihoonie?"

Hyunsuk doesn't move away from Jihoon's embrace, or rather he can't because of how firm the younger leader holds him. But the eldest's protest jolts Jihoon awake from the blind desire as he immediately pushes Hyunsuk away from him. They're both looks as rattled as the other, but it's Hyunsuk who recovers first since Jihoon has no fucking clue what kind of excuse that can weasel himself out of the situation.

"I think you need some rest... Jihoonie," utters Hyunsuk while still rubbing the skin Jihoon just bitten. The latter looks away, avoiding the eldest scrutinizing gazes before agreeing to his suggestion.

Hyunsuk climbs out of the bed and walks toward the door. He glances back once, muttering _good night_ before closing the door shut.

As soon as Hyunsuk is gone, Jihoon punches his pillow in frustration. Jihoon wants to _scream._ He wishes a hole opens up from the ground so he can bury himself along with his feelings and his stupid-ass libido.

The younger leader flops down onto the bed, wondering how the hell his life going to be for now on. The only solution he got is to deny everything; his love, his yearning, _anything_ regarding Choi Hyunsuk if he wants to keep their friendship and his life as it is. But it's going to be a goddamn struggle, especially now when Jihoon knows how sweet Hyunsuk tasted.

Tounge licking its lips, already craving for a second bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gah im also starving for sukhoon selca hahhahaha
> 
> thank you so much for everyone's support that let me keep writing💙 Ill try to update once a week eyy hope u enjoyed this!


	3. bitter denial

Jihoon dreams of pearl skin under his palm; smooth and soft like the purple silk that engulfs the body. He dreams of trailing it with feathery kisses and promises, with love bites to satisfy his appetites. Jihoon hears a whine of his name, begging him to stop teasing. Trembling thighs wrap around Jihoon's waist as the owner caress his face.

His vision is blurry as Jihoon can only sense with what he feels and hears rather what he sees. But the hand on his face pulls him forward, bringing everything into focus.

Jihoon wakes up with his best friend on his mind and dampness in his pants. 

-

Jihoon counts his blessing when Hyunsuk doesn't bring up the 'bite' incident the next day. The eldest greets him at the dorm's lobby like nothing happened, all smile and high-spirited. So Jihoon forces himself to stop thinking about one person and focus on the group.

On the outside, the day goes on normal; Jihoon busy with Magnum schedules in a separate studio from Treasure7. Endless checklists to be filled to maintain the group performance. On the inside, though, he feels like a sleeping volcano; red, hot desires bubbling under his skin without ever knowing when it will erupt and destroy the bond between him and Hyunsuk.

It stresses the younger leader to no end, so by the end of the day, Jihoon comes to a decision; to keep his distance from Hyunsuk outside of work.

"Jihoonie, wanna grab some dinner?" asks Hyunsuk, peeking behind the door where most members of Magnum already went home, leaving Jihoon, Yoshi, and Mashiho behind. It's the usual drill as the two leaders often go out together. But Jihoon already promises himself to say no, for his sake and Hyunsuk's.

"I'll pass, hyung. I got some things to take care of."

If there is a disappointment in Hyunsuk's face, Jihoon doesn't see; he can barely make eye contact with the eldest without feeling touch-starved. So he busies himself with his phone instead.

"Oh, okay." There's a pause from Hyunsuk, before Jihoon hears, "How about you, Yoshi?"

Jihoon instantly looks up to the Japanese rapper who's also taken back by the sudden invite.

"Oh. Uh, yeah, hyung, sure," stutters Yoshi, obviously happy for having some rare quality time with the man he greatly admires.

"Cool. Mashi, you coming?"

Mashiho shakes his head, already standing up with his bag packed. "No, hyung, I'll be cooking at the dorm again."

"Oh, nice. Okay. Yoshi, meet me downstairs in 5, 'kay?"

"Okay, hyung."

Hyunsuk disappears into the hallway. Before long so does Yoshi and Mashiho, closing the studio door shut to Jihoon and his denial.

The younger leader is aware that it's going to be hard rejecting everything about Hyunsuk but even he doesn't expect to be this bitter, like he forces himself to eat something bad when his stomach craves for something good.

_But this is the only way,_ Jihoon reminds himself as he glares back to his reflection in the mirror. After all, it's better to deny Hyunsuk than to lose him completely.

-

Weeks turn into months; Jihoon completely shut himself from the growling hunger that's desperate for a piece of Hyunsuk. No more casual touches, no more meals together, no more playful banter and long conversation aside from work-related one.

It's inevitable for Hyunsuk to notice something's off, and it's also inevitable for the eldest to assume that it's all his fault. This is Choi Hyunsuk, after all, a martyr wearing a skin of an idol.

"What are you talking about, hyung?" Jihoon scoffs, playing dumb when Hyunsuk corners him one afternoon after a meeting with the producers. The other members aren't included in the discussion so they're probably goofing around while waiting for their leaders to come back from YG HQ.

"Was it something I said? Did I do something wrong?" Unfortunately to Jihoon, Hyunsuk doesn't seem to buy his act.

Jihoon backs away a little when the eldest presses forward, doubting his self-control to not grab Hyunsuk's neck and suck it until it's blooming red if the eldest comes too close. "Nothing, hyung, I'm just busy with other stuff."

"Other stuff?"

"Yeah, you know, the group and... things." Jihoon mentally punches himself for not coming with a better excuse.

"Oh. You want-- you wanna talk about it? We haven't had lunch. We can--"

"No, let's just go back. We can have lunch with the others. Come on." Jihoon abruptly breaks away from Hyunsuk, determined to end the conversation. He goes toward the elevator, pressing the button with more aggression than necessary.

Hyunsuk doesn't say anything anymore, either giving up or giving the space he thought Jihoon wanted. It's a silent ride back to the YG Training Center as Jihoon pretends not to see Hyunsuk sulking beside him, reflected in the rear-view mirror.

-

There's such a thing called midnight craving; a side effect of hormonal changes that cause the body to crave indulgences such as sugar or junk food. For Park Jihoon's case, it's flesh. A craving of a long stretch of skin, waiting to be marked.

Like some of the cases of midnight craving, it brings along a symptom of insomnia. No matter how many sleep positions Jihoon tries or plays calming music to soothe the mind, he always fails to go into a deep slumber.

So he does the only thing people would do in his position; relieve himself from his need.

A lewd image enters Jihoon's mind, of a familiar man bends over the dorm sofa, unashamed of the obscene view he makes from behind. He wears nothing but an unbuttoned shirt, crumpled and soaked of sweats. Smooth skin glistening under the setting sun from the window, highlighting a decoration of hickeys and teeth marks. 

Jihoon seizes a lock of brown hair, making the man in front of him cry his name. The man looks at Jihoon over his shoulder, pleading for relief with his teary eyes. So Jihoon gives it to him. Oh, how Jihoon would give everything, even the world drenched in blood just for the man he loves and desires.

As both of them reach climax, the illusion suddenly breaks. Reality drags Jihoon back to the loneliness of his room; of sweat trickling his forehead and hand sticky under the sheet. Tomorrow he will be back ignoring the hunger but at least the craving subsides for tonight.

-

Days feel tough for Jihoon to just exist within the same place as Hyunsuk, knowing he can never interact with the eldest like how he used to. Hyunsuk himself looks fine and dandy, working hard as always and emitting positive energy to the group, especially now, when the agency confirms Treasure7 and Magnum will not be debuting at the end of the year.

The groups should have seen it coming as there are only three months left until 2019 end. But they're all still young boys, childlike smiles with head full of dreams, so it's natural everyone is feeling a little blue, also considering the news didn't come with an announcement of their exact debut date next year.

So back to cover songs and 'Going Crazy'; the members try their best to put their worries behind and focus on the present.

-

Out of the corner of his eyes, Jihoon notices how nowadays Hyunsuk often goes out with Yoshi and Haruto after practice. The rap line always a close bunch, producing beats and raps in the eldest's room, but they rarely hang out together outside work and dorm.

One evening, in the middle of shared dance practice between Treasure7 and Magnum, Jihoon overhears Hyunsuk calls for the Japanese rappers and offering them places to eat later. Unfortunately for the younger leader, their conversation drowns out by a sudden roar of laughter from Junkyu and Jeongwoo over Asahi's weird antics. Jihoon solemnly thinks maybe this is the way of the world telling him that Hyunsuk is no longer his business anymore.

"Jihoonie."

A call of his name breaking Jihoon from his thoughts to see Yoon Bin flopping down to sit beside him. Some members were lounging on the studio floor, resting for another 10 minutes until the break is over. Jihoon is one of them.

Jihoon nods to his friend. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"You," says Yoon Bin with a sly smile. "What's wrong with you? These days you look like shit, man."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Jihoon casts his gaze downward to which Yoon Bin slaps his back hard enough to get a scowl from the Magnum's leader.

"Come on, bud. You can't lie to me. Tell me."

Jihoon feels conflicted. The hunger eats the sane part of him day by day. Jihoon thought he found a solution but so far, it doesn't make it disappear. Worse, it makes his nights much longer as his head is filled with nothing but Hyunsuk the second he turns off his light.

Jihoon lets out a heavy sigh, decided that maybe he does need a second opinion of his issue. The next thing to do is to _describe_ the issue in a way that won't give Yoon Bin a heart attack.

Jihoon braces himself before quietly asking, "Have you ever feel guilty for wanting something you can't have?"

Yoon Bin looks at Jihoon like the leader grows another head but the other head is Yang Hyunsuk-nim himself.

Jihoon rolls his eyes, annoyed but not surprised by the response. He's ready to give his friend a taste of his coach-approved bicep before Yoon Bin interrupts. "Wait, sorry, I just didn't expect that. That shit is deep, man. Let me think first."

Yoon Bin puts his serious face on and faces Jihoon. "Well, I don't think I ever have, but before I feel guilty, actually the first thing that I ask myself would be, _how_ do know I _can't_ have that something?"

For Jihoon, the world seems to stop for a moment as a sudden realization dawns on him.

"I mean, does it -whatever it is- reject me or out of my reach, or am I just _assuming_ I can't have it? Because if it's something that I really want, even if the world says no, I will do anything just to get it, man," murmurs Yoon Bin as he gazes forward, watching the other members in the studio. There's a distant look in his eyes that Jihoon doesn't recognize (until it is too late).

Yoon Bin turns to Jihoon again, grinning. "Hell, every one of us here survives a fricking survival show, Jihoonie. We're not gonna be here if we're not that fucking stubborn to get what we want."

It's like someone just lifts a curtain that's been clouding Jihoon's sight. He can see things more clearly now, how Hyunsuk's rejection is something his mind made up on his own. Jihoon highly doubts Hyunsuk will accept his feelings (and desires) but why is he so afraid of when he has done nothing but disappear from the eldest?

Choi Hyunsuk is the kindest man Jihoon ever met so far in life; even if he doesn't want Jihoon, the eldest will probably still stand beside him, supporting him as a friend.

Jihoon smiles sheepishly, ever grateful to the man beside him. Yoon Bin replies with a beaming smile of his own. There's no need for words anymore between the two friends who are an anchor to one another.

Soon, their dance coaches enter the studio to resume the practice. Jihoon catches a glimpse of Hyunsuk in the mirror, brimming with passion and excitement. Starting tomorrow, Jihoon will have his old life back. He determined to mend the strain between them. So someday, in the near future, Jihoon could invite Hyunsuk to a nice dinner of his favorite burger and properly confesses his feelings. And maybe that way, the drought inside Jihoon will finally have its rain.

-

Later at night, Jihoon goes out to the near convenience store. Jungwhan, the self-proclaimed instant ramen chef, complains about the shortage of instant ramen in Jihoon's dorm. Jihoon, being a good fucking hyung he is, decided to buy them himself. He can always reimburse the cost tomorrow to the staff.

When Jihoon returns to the dorm, the young leader runs into the rap line, who just got back from dinner and waiting for the elevator in the lobby. It's a normal encounter between members if only there's not a barely-awake, barely-standing Choi Hyunsuk clinging to Yoshi's shoulder.

Jihoon approaches them in an instant, demanding answers. "What happened to him?" 

Yoshi smiles weakly. "Just a little tipsy. We try to stop him, Jihoonie, but I guess, he has a lot on his mind right now."

Eyes never leave Hyunsuk, Jihoon murmurs, "Really?"

"Who knows," Haruto chimes in, "He never tells us stuff. We thought _you_ know, hyung."

Jihoon shrugs nonchalantly, betraying the wave of emotion he feels inside; of shame and regret for not being there for Hyunsuk when he needed a shoulder to cry on.

The elevator dings open for the members to enter. Yoshi quickly rests Hyunsuk by the corner to stretch his arms. Hyunsuk may look small but it’s all muscle underneath those branded clothes. Sadly, it seems Hyunsuk hasn't fully recovered as his legs immediately fail him, but Jihoon's arm reaches out in time to hold him straight by the waist.

A groan comes out from the eldest. Hyunsuk eyes flutter open, trying to find his bearing.

Unknown to the eldest, Jihoon relishes his body pressed against him, missing Hyunsuk after months of seperation. It doesn't help how tipsy Hyunsuk looks so damn delectable; flushed cheeks, disheveled hair, mouth slightly open, as if waiting to be nibbled. Jihoon wants to _ravage_ him; pushes him against the wall and kisses him senseless. Grinds into him and feel the hardness under his jeans while swallowing every whimpers the eldest lets out. They will scar the other two members in the room for life but who fucking cares.

There's beast howling inside his ears, demanding him to eat his meal.

There's a slight change in Hyunsuk eyes as he finally recognizes the man beside him. The leaders are lock in a stare; Jihoon wanting and Hyunsuk guessing.

But their moment is cut short by the sound of the elevator door opens on Hyunsuk's floor.

"Let me carry you inside," whispers Jihoon, silently yearning for the other. Jihoon can't help it, he misses Hyunsuk too much. 

But what answers him is a flicker of unreadable emotion across Hyunsuk's face, before the eldest hangs his head low and mutters, "No, Ruto can help me."

Hyunsuk untangles himself from Jihoon's embrace as if rejecting the warmth offered to him. With unsteady legs, the eldest clings to Haruto. The tall rapper throws a puzzled look to Jihoon before mumbling _good night_ and helps Hyunsuk out of the elevator.

Not once the eldest look back.

Shortly, the elevator closes, leaving the two people inside in thick silence. Jihoon stares at his reflection in the stainless walls.

He never knows anger would look so ugly on him until now.

-

(Yoshi always wonders about the awkward tension between the two leaders but one look at Jihoon's face that night enough to stop him from questioning further.)

-

Jihoon dreams of pearl skin under his palm; of a small hand clutched inside his grip, threatening to leave. He dreams of trying to make them stay with pleads and apologies, with screams that fall on deaf ears. Jihoon hears a sigh of his name, begging him to let go. Trembling hand caresses Jihoon's face as the owner speaks of their bond like it's a mistake.

His vision is blurry as the rain pours heavily, drowning his eyes and ears. So Jihoon pulls himself forward to bring everything into focus.

Jihoon wakes up with his best friend on his mind and tears on his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for the angst but dont worry from the start the end game of this fic is always been smut lmao hence the prologue
> 
> buttt i still hope u enjoyed this chap! as always I'm very very grateful for ur support and kind words!! thank you!! sorry for any typos and grammar mistake but i try correcting them as i goes. see u in future chaps💙


	4. sour truth

It doesn't get any better.

The dead air between Jihoon and Hyunsuk stretches for a long period of time.

The morning after Hyunsuk drank too much soju, the eldest steers clear of Jihoon for the rest of the day. The younger leader himself isn't in a pleasant mood either, as he never fails to give Hyunsuk a cold shoulder whenever they bypass each other.

The most awkward is, of course, whenever they're at work, both knowing most of their duties overlap. One time, Jihoon decided that poking Junkyu with a pencil is more fun than listening to Hyunsuk suggesting songs for them to covered next year. Another time, Hyunsuk distracts himself by counting how many yawns Junkyu makes throughout a night discussion instead of hearing Jihoon's opinion about the newly revised 'Going Crazy' formation.

No one notices the soundless strife between them, or so they'd like to think until one Kim Junkyu had enough.

"You guys are being weird. Stop it," spats Junkyu one day, right after the group done practicing. Straight away, all eyes are on both leaders as most of the members are still present.

Hyunsuk is too stunned to respond, not expecting to be attacked out in the open, but Jihoon's self-defense skill against jokes and insults is always better than the eldest. So the younger leader replies it with a mock of his own, mimicking Junkyu's peculiar way of speaking, akin to a child. _"You're weird, stop it~"_

"Ya! I'm serious... You guys are awkward, and you've been bugging me more than usual."

_"It's 'cause we love you, Junkyu-ah~"_

Jihoon gives him a flying kiss to which Junkyu answers him with a disgusted face. Gone does the tense atmosphere from before. Some members join the teasing, while others continue chatting between their own. The eldest of them all even crack a smile for a second or two, before it disappears completely and replaced by frowns and wistful eyes.

It doesn't get any better.

It gets worse instead, when the door opens to Yoon Bin, bearing news of his resignation from the group.

That night, winter has come to Seoul as the first snow falls upon the city, the same time a biting cold seeps into Jihoon the moment his friend offers goodbye.

_-_

"You never told me anything."

In the vacuum of the dorm hallway at night, Jihoon confronts the man he considers as his lifeline. From the years they've known each other, Jihoon has poured everything into Yoon Bin -worries, regrets, dreams- and yet, the man himself hide his biggest truth from him.

It's been a few hours after Yoon Bin announced his decision to the group; to leave the company by the end of the month and pursue a solo career. It seems Hyunsuk already knows, as the eldest weren't quite as shocked as the others, which makes Jihoon more riled up than he already is.

"You told Hyunsuk-hyung, but not me? Really? Am I not your best friend anymore?" spats Jihoon in anger.

"He's my leader, Jihoonie, of course he has to know first. And besides, this is something I need to figure out on my own."

"But why now? Why, after almost a year, you decided to go now? Is it because our debut keeps getting postponed?"

"No, but I kinda glad it did. It gave me time to think about what I want."

"And that is to _leave_ us," Jihoon shakes his head, still can't accept the fact that Yoon Bin is quitting the group. "I thought you wanted to debut with us. The producer believed in you, gave you a chance. The fans still waiting for you, for us. The whole world does! They wanna see you--"

"And they'll _see_ me, Jihoonie, as an artist that I'm proud to be, not an artist that the world _expects_ me to be." Yoon Bin sighs, feeling drained after answering questions after questions from every member and staff, all doubting his decision. He looks up, staring Jihoon in the eyes with unwavering resolve. "I told you, right? Some time ago. Even if the world says no, if it's something that I really, really want, I would go to hell and back to get it, bud. This, is _it_."

Not a word comes out of Jihoon's lips. His mind is occupied recalling the time when he caught the distant look Yoon Bin wore that day. Jihoon was too busy feeding the hunger inside of him to notice his closest friend was slipping right in front of his eyes.

Jihoon feels ashamed. To think he called himself Yoon Bin's anchor when he doesn't know shit about the man's dream.

Yoon Bin puts his hand on Jihoon's shoulder, squeezing lightly to comfort the leader who's on the verge of crying. "I hope you understand, Jihoonie. Don't worry, I'll always support you and the group. We're all brothers, right?"

It's like a dam gate being opened, tears flow freely as Jihoon hugs the man he will miss the most out of every goodbye he ever had.

"Yeah. You're the greatest brother I have, Yoon Bin-ah."

"And you, mine, Jihoonie."

-

For Yoon Bin's last day, the group goes out and have dinner together. Just the members without any staff or cameras. They eat, they laugh, they reminisce, but mostly, they cry. It's not really a surprise Park Jihoon cries the hardest. He mourns for the departure of his friend and the thought of having to sail a harsh future without any anchor.

-

New year comes with a joyful celebration. The company finally announces the group debut will be sometime around July-August 2020. In addition, the two groups will debut as a 12-man group under the name of Treasure. The members are ecstatic; Yedam can't stop his happy tears while Haruto and Asahi can't stop doing the 'Naruto run' around the practice room. Others are just as thrilled, knowing they have upcoming schedules that don't involve singing or dancing to someone else's songs.

If there's a downside from all of this, it's only applies to Park Jihoon. The second he is named the group's leaders along with Hyunsuk, they're both make eye contact with each other, surprise engraves in their faces. Jihoon instantly looks away, as if pained by mere stares alone. Panic washes over him as he realizes he can't escape Hyunsuk from today onwards.

-

Devastation is an understatement; even after their debut announcement, members would often find Jihoon staring blankly in the middle of practice, like a man lost of purpose. To others, it's the effect of missing a friend, but to Jihoon, it's more than that. Since their last conversation alone, Yoon Bin's words keep echoing inside his head; how the man chooses to go against _everyone's_ wants to pursue what _he_ truly wants. Jihoon wishes he shares the same courage as Yoon Bin, to tame the growl inside of him and come forth with his feelings.

But one glance at Choi Hyunsuk enough to snuff out the last determination Jihoon has. The leaders don’t even talk to each other anymore outside of work, much less have a heart-to-heart conversation.

Jihoon can't believe this is the reality he has to live from now on; feeling alone and left out in a room full of people.

"Jihoon-ah, you're out of tempo again!"

The members stop dancing. They're all out of breath but not as much as Jihoon, whose mind isn't even present in the practice room.

The dance coach approaches him, scowling and disappointed. It's the fourth time the man barks at Jihoon and his unusual incompetence today. "You're not on your right mind, are you?"

Jihoon fixes his eyes on the floor while still gasping for air. "I'm sorry."

The coach casts a glance at the other members before shouting, "Okay, 15 minutes break!"

Everyone groans in relief, obviously feeling strained after 3 hours of non-stop juggling between one dance moves to another. The coach frowns at Jihoon one last time before turns around and exits the room.

Jihoon wastes no time to disappear too. Without meeting anyone gazes, the leader walks out of the scene, into the narrow hallway, and locks himself in one of the bathroom stalls.

Jihoon buries his head on his hand, trying to calm the thunders in his heart. He feels as if a storm is brewing inside his body; of rumbled sky and angry wind, stirring emotions left and right. Rage, sadness, frustration, and worst of all, desire; the very root of the mess he got into. He curses loudly, tears already welled up in his eyes.

Jihoon used to do this; bawling alone in the toilet when he's too young and weak to handle the industry pressures. He stopped when he finally has friends he could count on; Yoon Bin, Yedam, Hyunsuk--

The sound of the bathroom door being opened pulls Jihoon from his thoughts. There are footsteps outside before it stops in front of Jihoon's stall.

"Jihoonie?"

It's Hyunsuk, of course. Jihoon swears the universe must have a grudge on him for pulling a prank like this.

"Jihoonie, you're there?" asks the eldest again.

"Yes, hyung."

"Are you okay?"

Jihoon heavily sighs. "I'm fine, I just need to clear my head."

"Oh, okay."

Seconds passes by in awkward silence. To Jihoon's annoyance, Hyunsuk doesn't seem to be leaving any time soon. It's really getting under his skin; the younger leader wants to be alone to calm himself down, not conversing small talks with the person that causes all of this shit show. But just as Jihoon is about to protests, Hyunsuk cuts in.

"Are you still sad about Yoon Bin?"

Jihoon can't help but lets a dry laugh, somewhat aggravated for being asked the obvious. "What do you _think_ , hyung?"

"We all do, Jihoonie. But it's his decision. You have to get past that sooner or later."

The younger leader closes his eyes, desperately wishing for Hyunsuk to shut up. "Yeah, sure."

"We gotta be happy for him, instead of being down. I mean, he found what he really wants and choose to run with it despite everything." Hyunsuk pauses for a moment, before murmuring, "That's kinda brave."

Suddenly, it _cracks_ ; the wall inside Jihoon's mind. The storm becomes a hurricane, wrecking everything in its path including Jihoon's sanity. He slams the stall door open, startling Hyunsuk on the process.

Jihoon sees red as anger fills him to the brim. "What the hell do _you_ know, hyung?"

"What--"

"What the hell do you know about being brave? About me? About how I should feel?" Jihoon takes a step forward, forcing the eldest to backs away. "You don't even _know_ why I'm like this and yet you lecture me about shit?"

"What do you mean? You said it's about Yoon Bin--"

"I lost the only friend that understand me, at least you could do is show me pity or better, _leave_ me the hell alone!"

Hyunsuk eyes Jihoon in disbelief, muttering, "What are you saying? You still have Yedam-i, Junkyu-ah, and-- and me--"

"You?" Jihoon sneers, rolling his eyes away. "Yeah, right. We barely talk anymore, hyung."

Hyunsuk gapes as if not unsure of the words that come from Jihoon's mouth, before shooting daggers at the younger leader. " _You're_ the one who started it. I thought you needed some space. Over what, the hell I know! You never answer whenever I ask you about it."

Jihoon scoffs, hands fisted inside his pockets, trying to control the emotional turmoil inside. He decides leaving is the best solution right now before someone gets punched.

"Whatever," grumbles Jihoon, sidestepping Hyunsuk to go to the door. But the eldest is more stubborn than he looks. He grabs Jihoon's arm, preventing him to leave.

Except as soon as Hyunsuk in contact with Jihoon's skin, everything _burns_. Just like the first time it happened. Jihoon feels on fire, of fury and desire.

The younger leader quickly seizes the hand on his arms and hurls the owner against the bathroom wall. Jihoon's right hand clutching Hyunsuk's tight, nailing it in place, while the other plants itself beside Hyunsuk's head. The younger leader is towering the eldest, piercing him with eyes that starved for skin.

Jihoon takes note on how small and confused Hyunsuk is before he shifts his gaze lower; down to his adam apple, to his collarbone, to his neckline and loose shirt that doesn't even properly cover his chest. All of a sudden, Jihoon is overcome with an urge to rip it off with his teeth. Hyunsuk will probably put up a fight. _Good_ , Jihoon is in need of one. They will create bruises and split lips, before Jihoon had enough and throws Hyunsuk against the sink. He'll push the eldest's face against the mirror, so he can watch himself get utterly fucked from behind. Let tears stain his cheeks. Let his moans echo into the hallway, inviting curious audiences.

Let everyone witness how mad and in love Jihoon is with him.

But before anything happens, Hyunsuk pushes the younger leader back with his free hand. It immediately massages the other that just escaped Jihoon's strong grip.

"You're hurting me, Jihoonie," says Hyunsuk, with shock and confusion painted across his face.

But Jihoon already turns his back on him. He throws a glance over the shoulder, muttering "No, you're the one who hurts me, hyung, and you don't even fucking realize it."

When Jihoon out of the bathroom, he notices Hyunsuk doesn't follow him right away. Maybe he really did give the eldest quite a fright earlier. But Jihoon quickly diminishes the thought, already feeling burnout after the emotional rollercoaster. Just before the break is over, he catches a glimpse of Hyunsuk entering the room. Jihoon keeps his cool and distracts himself with bothering Junkyu, in which the latter responds in disdain, as usual.

The practice continues but Jihoon doesn't get any better. In the end, the coach orders him to stay for an extra session, to which the younger leader gladly does so, thinking fatigue could help him sleep faster.

It's better he passes out of exhaustion than to jacking off to someone who doesn't even love him back.

-

It's a quarter past midnight when Jihoon returns to the dorm. With body aching all over the place, Jihoon actually considers skipping shower and hit the bed straight away. But as soon as he opens his room, his eyes spot an unwanted guest curling in the comfort of his bed.

"Hyunsuk-hyung."

The eldest seems to fall into a light sleep while waiting for the owner of the room to come. Hyunsuk quickly sits up and climbs out of the bed. "You're back."

"What are you doing here?" Jihoon feels his heart just took a dive, feeling not ready to face the eldest so soon after what happened this afternoon.

"We need to talk."

Jihoon sighs. He is beyond exhausted, both body and mind. "No, it's late. I'm tired. We can talk tomorrow, hyung."

But Hyunsuk shakes his head in disapproval, hands folded on his chest. "No, I'm not letting you walk away again. I'm done with your shit. We have to talk everything out tonight."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You said I'm hurting you, how is that not worth talking about? What did I do?" asks Hyunsuk in desperation, taking a step toward Jihoon.

The younger leader scoffs, anger slowly rising from the pit of the stomach. "God, you're being annoying right now, hyung. Can you fuck off?"

But Hyunsuk holds his ground; stern eyes demanding the truth. "No, until you tell me the reason, I'm gonna be here all night. Now tell me why!"

No answer.

"Park Jihoon!"

"I _can't_! Fuck!"

Jihoon snarls at Hyunsuk, veins popping on his neck. Face flushed, jaw tense; Jihoon never shows this ugly side of him to anyone, until now.

Hyunsuk seems at loss, blinking away the tears that threatening to fall.

The eldest quickly pulls himself together before pleading, "Jihoonie. Talk to me. Please. If I did something wrong, I'm sorry-- but, you gotta tell me. We have to work this out or it'll affect the group. We're leaders, we can't let that happen."

"This has nothing to do with work, hyung," grunts Jihoon, hands clenched tight, trying to contain the hurricane that emerged once again.

"Then, what is it?"

"I told you, I can't tell you!"

Hyunsuk frowns deeper; eyes darting back and forth, hopelessly searching for an answer Jihoon won't give him. "Then-- then what am I supposed to do? Let you _hate_ me and pretend I don't know shit about it?"

Jihoon cringes, "What the f-- who said I hate you?"

"You said I'm hurting you, Jihoonie, do you even _hear_ yourself talk?!" yells Hyunsuk in frustration.

"That's not what I meant!"

"If it's not hate, then what the fuck is it!"

"I fucking _love_ you, hyung!!"

A deafening silence envelops the room. For the second time tonight, Jihoon drives Hyunsuk speechless. The eldest stares at Jihoon with wide eyes, dumbfounded by the abrupt confession.

Jihoon turns around, trembling hand reaching for something to lean into. Suddenly, it's hard to breathe. He can hear his heart beating too fast, too loud. 

Jihoon rests his side against the wall, trying to regain composure but to no avail.

"What was that?"

Jihoon shuts his eyes, ignoring the faint call from Hyunsuk. His mind is in shambles; the hurricane has taken over him, destroying the last shred of his self-control, allowing the monster that's been hungry for Hyunsuk out. The monster that will tears the eldest apart before it'll tears their bond and Jihoon's life.

"Jihoonie."

The younger leader doesn't answer; he _can't_ answer, too afraid to let a growl escape his lips.

"Jihoonie, please explain," begs Hyunsuk, with the softest voice Jihoon ever heard. It pulls Jihoon like gravity, as he slowly turns around and finds the world is a blur. Only Hyunsuk is in focus as if he's a hawk and Hyunsuk's a prey. The younger leader strides forward, closing the distance between him and the eldest until they're a breath away.

Consequences be damned; now Jihoon wants his fill.

"Punch me," whispers the starving man as he grasps Hyunsuk by the neck,

and kisses him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "to punch or not to punch" -chs
> 
> also dominant jihoon? dominant jihoon grabbing chs neck?? now no need to imagine it fam coz its REAL thanks to the i love you fanchant video lol i just continue where he left off hshs
> 
> as always thank you so so so much for the support and lovely comments!! i hope u stick around for the last ride as i will update last chapter+epilogue at the same time. sorry for the grammar mistakes and typo, ill be correcting them as i goes. see ya💙


	5. sweet pleasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: Heavy, graphic smut for the latter half of the chapter. Read at your discretion.

Jihoon forgets how to breathe.

He kisses Hyunsuk like today is the last day on Earth; rough and desperate, hands shaking, teeth clacking into another. Maybe it is, maybe Hyunsuk will truly kill him after this and Jihoon will gladly let him. But the eldest doesn't stop him, or maybe he's just too stunned to do anything as his mouth isn't moving either, still as a stone. So Jihoon reminds him that this is real, Jihoon is _real_. He licks Hyunsuk upper lips, making the other gasps, before pushing his tongue inside. Hyunsuk tastes of peppermint and bitter coffee. A flash of regret crosses Jihoon's mind as he curses the other for ruining those two flavors because starting today, he couldn't eat his favorite ice cream or drink any coffee without thinking of ravaging Hyunsuk's mouth.

The taste feeds the hunger and it wants more; the younger leader drives the eldest backward until his back hits the closet door. Jihoon presses his body into Hyunsuk's smaller one, blanketing him so Hyunsuk feels nothing but Jihoon, sees nothing but Jihoon. His right hand's still tight on the other's neck, while another rest on Hyunsuk's soft cheek, thumb caressing the skin ever so gently despite the fierceness in Jihoon's kisses. 

Hyunsuk lets out a whimper; maybe a wake-up call to stop Jihoon but to his ears, it's a sound of encouragement, inviting the younger to go further. So he does.

Jihoon's mouth moves down, to Hyunsuk's jaw and into his neck. He lightly sucks, not enough to bruise but enough to leave a faint red mark. Jihoon feels a small hand grasping his hair as the owner lets out a whine of his name.

The call snaps Jihoon's mind from desire, but not enough to stop the lust that took over his body.

"I told you to punch me," murmurs Jihoon in-between his kisses.

The younger leader can hear Hyunsuk trying to catch some breath while answering, "I can't, we have shoots tomorrow."

Jihoon would probably laugh when he's not so hungry for flesh right now.

Hyunsuk's small hands clutch Jihoon's shoulder, squeezing, as he pants, "Jihoonie, we-- we need to talk."

"You _really_ like to talk, huh, hyung?"

"Shouldn’t people talk first before they kiss somebody?"

As soon as the words come out, Jihoon stops. The fog in his mind has cleared as the younger realizes he just kissed his hyung without an ounce of consent. Even when he did ask him beforehand to deliver him a knuckle sandwich, but still.

With a heavy heart, Jihoon takes a step back; eyes cast downward, ashamed. "Right. Sorry."

Hyunsuk drops his shoulders, looking both relieved and flustered. There are a few seconds of silence before he raises his voice, "So, this is what's been bugging you?"

Jihoon weakly nods, head still hangs low. There's a voice echoing inside his head; it's Yoon Bin's, and he's telling his brother to be brave, to get what he wants at all cost. He tells him it's about time he properly admits his feelings to Hyunsuk.

_You just kissed him, bud, you owe him that at least._

_Yeah, you're right._ Jihoon finally gathers enough courage to stare Hyunsuk straight in the eyes, projecting all the longing, frustration, and passion accumulated from the past four years.

"I want you, hyung. So bad-- so _fucking_ bad that it makes me want to swallow you whole sometimes."

There is quiet before there are tears; Hyunsuk looks away as if it can hide the fact that he's weeping in front of Jihoon's face. The younger leader himself is muddled by the reaction, expecting shock, yes, or a kick on the dick since Jihoon's tongue did forcefully make its way inside Hyunsuk's mouth, but never sadness.

Jihoon is about to ask what's wrong when a knock on the door surprises them. He immediately jumps back, distancing himself from teary-eyed Hyunsuk who looks as tense as him.

Jihoon gulps anxiously when another knock sounds again, accompanied by a familiar voice.

"Hyung. I heard shouting."

Jihoon curses quietly, forgetting that just minutes ago the leaders were in a screaming contest in the middle of the night where people were supposed to be sleeping. He braces himself for any nagging questions as he opens the door.

Surprisingly, he finds Asahi.

Jihoon tries to look apologetic. "Sahi, hey, did we wake you up?"

"No, still editing things. You guys okay?" asks the rookie-producer, face stoic as usual but eyes scanning Jihoon and the man inside his room. 

"Uh, yeah, we're just discussing something--"

"And we're just about done, anyway," interrupts Hyunsuk, already moves beside Jihoon, ready to leave. They're lock in a stare; Jihoon searches for an answer to his love in those puffy eyes, but Hyunsuk averts his gaze elsewhere, murmuring, "I... need some time to think."

The eldest quickly flees. There's a sound of the dorm front door being opened and closed before everything's quiet once more.

Jihoon clears his throat. "Well, we better call it a night, too."

Asahi nods, muttering _good night, hyung,_ and turns back toward his room.

Jihoon is unsure if he should address the elephant in the room or feign ignorance because if Asahi was in front of his computer this whole time, there's no way he didn't hear what's earlier shouting all about. Maybe not the whole thing but at least a portion of it. Jihoon just hopes that portion doesn't include his desperate confession.

Just as Asahi turns his doorknob, Jihoon comes to a decision. 

"Sahi."

The man looks at him over the shoulder.

Jihoon chews his lips nervously before continuing, "Just-- just don't think too hard about earlier, yeah?"

Asahi doesn't reply right away. He keeps staring at Jihoon, which makes the leader uncomfortable as hell, before the resident robot finally responds.

"...I'm just glad you two talking again, hyung."

The door closes, leaving Jihoon and the stillness of the night. The younger leader collapses on the floor, head leans back against the doorway. Asahi may appear aloof from outside but every member knows he's actually very perceptive. Jihoon trusts the group like a family so he just going to trust Asahi to keep tonight a secret.

Staring vacantly into the dark hallway, Jihoon's mind replays earlier scenes like a movie; every cut, every word, every change in Hyunsuk's expression being paused and zoomed-in, repeatedly reviewed to learn their meanings. But outside his thoughts, Jihoon feels tranquility. Maybe it's the peace after the storm. Wreckage and rumbles everywhere but at last the wind is calm and comforting.

Jihoon can finally breathe again.

-

The air changes; it's winter outside but Jihoon already basks the heat of summer. Whenever the leaders are in a room together, Jihoon's gaze always lingers to Hyunsuk. Their eyes would eventually find each other, lock for a few seconds before Hyunsuk turns away, blushing up to his ears. Maybe it was the intensity in Jihoon's stares or maybe something else entirely, but flustered Hyunsuk is cute as fuck, and every time he's close to him, the hunger growls, reminding Jihoon of the taste of the eldest lips and the warmth of his body pressed against him.

They also stop avoiding each other. In fact, a few days after the dramatic event that took place in Jihoon's room, the leaders go out to dinner together. With the company of other members, of course, but still, it's a major improvement to their strained friendship. They sit next to each other; elbows brushing, fingers touching, often joking. Jihoon smiles so wide throughout the dinner, his jaw feels numb afterward.

When they part in the dorm elevator, Hyunsuk throws a glance at Jihoon as he sheepishly smiles and utters a soft _goodnight._ If Mashiho stares at the younger leader weirdly, it's probably because Jihoon keeps grinning like a lovesick idiot.

But the heat remains and it's boiling Jihoon each day passes without Hyunsuk's answer. Jihoon knows what he has done; he denied Hyunsuk since last year, putting him in an uncomfortable position, giving him silence without explanation, and then exploded and hurt him to some degree before finally delivered his truth with forceful kisses. Jihoon understands if the eldest needs more time to process everything.

So Jihoon waits. But no amount of patience able to repress the hunger inside.

It's gym day and his eyes can’t stop undressing the eldest. 

Treasure needs to be at the top of their game for next week's photoshoot, but Jihoon fails to concentrate lifting his weights when close to him lies Hyunsuk wearing a loose tank top and a tight black legging. It's suffering even from the start as Hyunsuk decides to stretch in front of him, with his back facing the younger leader. Hips and arms bend forward, displaying plump ass asking to be spanked. Or when Hyunsuk's skin shines with sweats as he lifts a pair of 7kg barbells. Each muscle in the eldest body contract and it shows, making Jihoon ache to touch every one of them; fingers trailing those popping veins to see where they end.

At the end of the session, Jihoon feels more parched than after any workout he has ever done in 21 years of his life. He refills his tumbler thrice and drinks it until empty, earning a raising eyebrow from Yedam who just got back from the shower.

"Thirsty much, hyung?"

"You have _no_ idea, I'm dying here."

Yedam snickers, probably thinking Jihoon is just being his usual dramatic self. "Right. The showers empty."

Jihoon nods and heads to the gym shower room. He's the last one to bathe, as he needs some time to cool his dirty mind off and to avoid encountering a half-naked Hyunsuk. Again.

Jihoon goes up to his locker to get his towel and shower kit. He takes off his clothes and wraps the towel around his hips. While walking toward the shower stall, he catches a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror next to the locker area. Jihoon pauses in his step, automatically checking his own body; hard abs, strong biceps, defined shoulder. He's lost in his thoughts about all the hours he put in the gym just to get fit when he notices the shower room's door behind him opens, through the mirror.

Enters Choi Hyunsuk, fully clothed, slinging a bag, facing a half-naked Park Jihoon.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Jihoon must be imagining things because he swears, for a moment, Hyunsuk gazes dip lower from his face to his body that isn't covered with a towel before the eldest snaps his head back up.

"I left something in my locker."

"Uh, sure."

Hyunsuk disappears to the locker area while Jihoon is still frozen on the spot. He's embarrassed for two things; one, his lack of clothes, two, he can’t believe out of the 11 members here, it's _has_ to be Hyunsuk who caught him checking his half-naked ass out in the mirror. Jihoon lets out a quiet groan, wanting to bash his head against the wall so maybe he will forget today ever happened.

The younger leader continues his way but just as he's about to go into one of the stalls, he hears Hyunsuk's calls. He turns around to see the eldest already making his way toward him.

"There's something I wanna tell you."

Jihoon stops, heart suddenly racing.

"But, uhm." Hyunsuk hesitates, eyes trail down Jihoon's body before settle on the floor. So Jihoon doesn't imagine it, after all. He feels butterflies on his stomach, flapping its wings in the same rhythm as the growl, of love blooming and desire rising.

"What is it, hyung?"

"Maybe later back at dorm? I mean, right now you--" Hyunsuk arms flailing, gesturing to the other's bare chest and the room they're in. But unfortunately, Jihoon's patience is wearing thin by the second.

"No, I wanna hear it now."

"Jihoonie--"

"Hyung. Please."

Eyes looking at each other, and all of a sudden the room feels small and suffocating.

Maybe this is what it's like to be trapped inside a submarine, Jihoon thinks. Short breaths and claustrophobic, sealed 500 feet below the sea with a person holding a gun to his chest.

But Jihoon already decided to be brave. So he shakes his fears away and takes a step forward, bringing him closer to Hyunsuk. When the eldest backs away, the younger catches his arm, eyes pleading for him to stay.

"Tell me hyung, do you accept me or should I just fuck off and pretend whatever between us never happened? 'Cause if you choose the latter, I promise I will never bring this up again and we can go back to what we were before. But just please-- don't leave me hanging."

Hyunsuk replies with silence. It's almost like an execution; Jihoon's a prisoner, standing in the gallows, waiting for the hanged signal from his king.

Just as when Jihoon thinks of giving up, Hyunsuk suddenly inches closer, grumbling with those pouty lips, "Really don't wanna do this while you don’t even have a shirt on, but you ask for it, jackass."

Hyunsuk tiptoes, both hands clutching on Jihoon's bare shoulder as he kisses him.

A sweet, short peck on the lips that only last few seconds, before Hyunsuk falls back; hands gripping his sling bag too tightly, eyes looking everywhere but Jihoon.

"That's my answer, Jihoonie."

Jihoon's brain must have short-circuited because suddenly, he can’t think shit. He convinces he's currently sleepwalking because there is no way Choi Hyunsuk -the man he loves, fantasies, cries over- reciprocates his feelings outside his dreams.

A shaky hand reaches forward, brushing Hyunsuk's cheek; Jihoon desperate to know the person in front of him isn't a hallucination.

"Are you real, hyung?"

Hyunsuk frowns, obviously confused. "What do you mean?"

"If you're real, then I won't stop," warns Jihoon, driven by the hunger inside, "I can't stop. I've been enduring but now, I can't do it anymore. I want you so much, hyung. So, please, tell me if this is all real."

It's Jihoon's last warning before he lets the hungry monster out, before the sleeping volcano erupts, before he jumps headfirst into an oasis in the middle of the desert--

But Hyunsuk just takes it all in a stride, like it is the easiest choice to make as he smiles so softly, so kindly, and leans on the palm against his cheek.

"I'm real, Jihoonie, and I'm here to tell you that I want you too."

~~The hunger~~ Jihoon growls.

He closes the distance between them and kisses Hyunsuk, rough and desperate like their first, only this time the other kisses him back with as much passion as Jihoon. The younger feels elated and starved and warm, even though he wears nothing but a goddamn towel, but Hyunsuk fuels him with blue fire; Jihoon is burning inside out. He nibbles Hyunsuk's bottom lips, licking it, asking for permission and the eldest graciously lets him.

True to his words, Jihoon doesn't stop. Hands wandering to Hyunsuk hips, touching the skin under his t-shirt and rests on his back. The eldest parts from their kisses to moans but Jihoon chases his lips once more, never satisfied. The younger leader presses his body to Hyunsuk as the other circles his hand around his neck. Jihoon feels hardness against his groin and can't help but to grind forward. Both swallowing each other moans, hips moving against one another.

"Jihoonie--"

The man in question is drunk; eyes heavy as his mouth nibbles Hyunsuk's right ear, tongue gently toying with the eldest earring. His hand creeping toward Hyunsuk's bottom, squeezing the darn thing that ogled at him earlier. Hyunsuk whines fall so sweetly on Jihoon ears, it drives the starving man to want more. 

"Hyung, can I fuck you?"

Hyunsuk whines again, chest heaving as he buries his face in the crook of Jihoon's neck.

The younger asks again. "Hyung, can I--"

"Not here, Jihoonie, are you crazy?" Comes a muffled reply from Hyunsuk as his mouth busy sucking the other's throat.

Jihoon bits his lips, neck stretches back, giving more access to the eldest. "Yeah, I mean, back home. Your room or mine?"

"Mine, my bed is--"

"--on the floor, right. Okay," agrees Jihoon, thinking his bunk bed will probably make more noises than a single mattress.

Jihoon's about to dive for more kisses when the other suddenly stops him, small hands firmly rest on both his cheeks. 

Hyunsuk gently whispers, "We have to stop. The others are waiting."

As much as Jihoon wants to deny it, the eldest is right. The members are probably questioning where the two leaders went when they promised to have dinner together after the gym.

So he forces himself to come down from his high. It takes all the willpower he has to gets off of Hyunsuk. The other doesn't look composed either; swollen lips, pink cheeks, out of breath, like he just finishes a marathon.

But tonight, it'll be a longer run; Jihoon will make sure Hyunsuk sore enough, tomorrow he couldn’t stand on his two feet.

-

(The air changes; it's winter outside so it's a mystery why the Treasure members feel the summer's heat already. The warmth apparently radiates from the two leaders; lingering gazes and secret smiles throughout dinner after the group's workout schedule.

Honestly, it's making everyone mighty uncomfortable.

There's Junkyu who openly grimaces when he catches Jihoon staring at Hyunsuk as if _he's_ the food, clearly ignoring the number of dishes lie in front of him. Then, Yoshi, actively trying to engage a conversation with the eldest but Hyunsuk's eyes keep darting to the other leader before back to him. It repeats on and on until the Japanese rapper hopelessly gives up and decides that steak makes a better company. Watching the poor fate of the man, Jaehyuk and Yedam hide their giggles by gulping their corn tea for the umpteenth time this evening.

In the corner of the table, Doyoung is literally one click away from Kakaotalk his dear eldest in private just to ask if something's wrong when Mashiho distracts him to laugh at Jeongwoo and Junghwan antics. The maknaes are fake gagging. To what? Who knows.

Even Haruto, who usually wouldn't detect subtle details exchanged between people, strangled by the tension. He discreetly asks the observant man next to him, Asahi, but the resident robot just replies with a pat in the back and an invitation to sleep in his room tonight.

The night is both weird and amusing for all but in the end, everyone seems to share the same conclusion.

They better sleep with their headphones _on_ tonight or God help them all.)

-

It's pure, fucking _lust_ the second the leaders step inside Hyunsuk's room.

Jihoon pins the eldest against the door, covering his mouth with his own, tongue trying to dominate the other. One hand behind Hyunsuk's neck and another crawling under his t-shirt, caressing the smooth, pearl skin he always dreams of. Hyunsuk sighs and rubs his hips against Jihoon, fingers clutching on Jihoon's shoulder to keep himself straight in case his legs don't. The younger grinds back, sneakily pinching the eldest nipple, which earns a dirty moan from the man.

Hyunsuk is being quite loud but Jihoon doesn't give two shits about anything except the thought of making the eldest naked as soon as possible.

Drunk on desire, Jihoon doesn't notice the hands on his shoulders have moved to his belt; hastily unclasps it and drops it to the floor. Hyunsuk's fingers dive inside his jeans, stroking his aching erection through the boxer. The younger has to bite the other's shoulders just to suppress the whine that threatens to come out.

"Want me to--"

"Yeah, yeah. Fuck," pants Jihoon, close to losing his mind over Hyunsuk's ministrations.

The eldest drops to the ground, kneeling as his hands tugs Jihoon's jeans and boxer down to his thighs. He grips Jihoon's cock, mouth inches closer before he pauses. The man looks up, holding Jihoon's gaze steadily as he slowly licks his cock and swallows it whole.

Jihoon grips Hyunsuk's hair tight, cursing under his breath. He can't believe his dirtiest fantasy just become a reality. On his knees, his hyung looks so pretty sucking his dick like a goddamn treat. Blue hair bounces lightly as Hyunsuk bobs his mouth in and out Jihoon's cock, tongue swirling around occasionally, licking the pre-cum that pools on the tip.

He's a fucking pro, Jihoon realizes. Which causes his blood boils as the younger imagines the faceless men Hyunsuk had done this with. Baseless jealousy takes over him as Jihoon's grip hardens on the eldest head, clawing the scalp, drawing out a muffled whimper from Hyunsuk.

Jihoon pushes Hyunsuk's head away, forming a string of saliva from the other's pouty lips. He brings the eldest up on his feet before ravaging the mouth that fresh out of his cock.

_This is mine_ , Jihoon possessively thinks, _this mouth is mine now._

Hyunsuk groans, surprised by Jihoon's sudden aggressiveness but welcomes it all the same.

The younger pulls back, chest heaving, eyes consumed with lust.

"Wanna have you now, hyung."

A shiver runs through Hyunsuk's body.

Jihoon carelessly discards the rest of his own clothes away while Hyunsuk flops down the bed, struggling to get both his pants and every bit of his accessories off. Meanwhile, the younger leader takes the condom and the lubricant they've purchased earlier on their way home out of Hyunsuk's bag.

Jihoon grabs the necessity, turns around, ready to fucking _eat_ , only to be stopped by an appetizing sight. There's a disheveled, pouty Hyunsuk too focused getting his bracelets off to aware just what kind of pose his sinful body is making; lying on his chest, pants off, with a t-shirt that barely covers half of his bottom. It's almost as if he's _asking_ for it.

Jihoon instantly on top of him, mouth latching to Hyunsuk's throat as his hand finds itself slapping that plump ass. Jihoon can't get enough of this shit.

"Jihoonie, wait--" whines the eldest, fingers still busy with his jewelry.

But the younger leader ignores his plea. He turns Hyunsuk around and showers the other's jaw with bites and kisses. One hand caresses the eldest thigh before bringing one of Hyunsuk's legs to dangle over his shoulders, exposing what's beneath. Jihoon sits on his heels as he squeezes the lubricant out while carefully watching Hyunsuk, who looks dazed and delicious. Sticky fingers touching Hyunsuk's hard cock before moves down to his hole, pushing a finger inside. Hyunsuk bit his lips at the intrusion as the younger works his finger inside before adding another.

Jihoon is ravenous but he wants this to hurt as little as possible. So he grits his teeth and patiently prepares, stretching Hyunsuk with much care. Another hand focus on massaging Hyunsuk's neglected cock, diverting the pain as the younger adds the third finger. Hyunsuk is _mewling_ so beautifully under him, Jihoon wishes he can capture this moment forever.

Jihoon sucks a kiss on those swollen lips, drinking it dry, as he keeps on pounding Hyunsuk with his fingers. The younger averts his attention down to the eldest nipples under his t-shirt, nibbling and playing them over the fabric, before quavering hands pull Jihoon up. 

"Jihoonie, no more, or I'll come," begs Hyunsuk, sounding already wrecked. A streak of tears spills from the corner of his eyes, Jihoon can't help but lick it.

"Me too. Tell me if you're ready, hyung."

"I am, I am, just fuck me already, _please_."

Jihoons slips out a growl; the beast has been waiting. Jihoon pulls his fingers out and flips Hyunsuk around so the eldest is on all four. Hyunsuk obediently complies, propping on elbows and spreads his leg wider, inviting Jihoon's hungry eyes. The younger grabs the condom and puts it over his painfully throbbing cock, stroking it a few times before pressing into Hyunsuk, ever so, so slowly.

Jihoon grunts, fingers digging to the eldest hips, holding him still as he keeps on pushing inside, inch by inch. A stifled moan can be heard as Hyunsuk buries his head into the pillow. Jihoon doesn't stop, he can't, he won't. The man continues pressing forward, steadily, until he finally sheathed fully inside Hyunsuk.

"So tight, hyung," Jihoon says, his voice low, dripping with sex. He thrusts once, testing the water, which makes both leaders groan in pleasure.

"Jihoonie--" Hyunsuk pants, head slightly turns as he looks at Jihoon over the shoulder. It's oddly familiar, the scene before the younger leader is almost the same in his dreams. But for once, reality is better because no amount of daydreams or jacking off can compare to how hot and heavenly Hyunsuk truly tasted.

"Jihoonie, move, please," begs the eldest, hips trying to move under Jihoon's grasp but the younger doesn't let him. Everything will be at his pace, this is Jihoon's long-awaited banquet after all.

Jihoon wets his lips as he pulls out partway before thrust it back in, _hard_. It makes Hyunsuk moans so loud, any members who are still awake must've heard it. But the starved Jihoon doesn't give a fuck, as Jihoon is ruthless, slamming his cock inside again and again and again, shallow in each thrust. The man under him trembles, shirt soaked with sweats, hips marked red from Jihoon's tight grip as Hyunsuk wails wantonly, voices raw and rough.

"You look so good taking my cock, hyung," says Jihoon, decreasing his pace all too sudden. His thrust becomes slow and deep and punishing, making Hyunsuk jerks forward if only there aren't hands on his hips securing him in place. He thrusts once, twice, before Hyunsuk suddenly screams into the pillow as Jihoon's dick finds Hyunsuk's prostate.

Jihoon smirks proudly, halting his movement for a second. "Here, huh?"

Hyunsuk replies with a sob, tears staining his cheek, elbows failing to support him. Seeing this, Jihoon rolls Hyunsuk again, who's still impaled to his fucking dick, so now the eldest is lying on his side, one leg up on Jihoon's shoulder while the other spreads below.

Jihoon settles on his heels and clutches the leg dangles on his shoulder before thrusting again, drawing another cry from the man under. Now that the younger leader gets a view of his face, he notices how exquisite Hyunsuk looks every time he presses inside; flushed, eyes fluttering, slightly frowning, mouth gaping, head tilts to the side, baring the faint red marks across his throat, and it's all Jihoon's doing. He's the one that makes him into such a mess, the _only_ one who can utterly ruin Hyunsuk.

The thought of dominating the eldest excites Jihoon more. He increases his pace again, hitting Hyunsuk's prostate and abusing the slicked, stretched hole. Hyunsuk seems to be at his limit. The eldest hand creeps down and begins to stroke his own cock, timely with Jihoon's thrust while whining the man's name.

Being inside Hyunsuk feels so good, so warm, Jihoon wishes they can stay like this for days, fucking like rabbits; filling the eldest full to the brim, marking him from the inside.

But everything must come to an end. Jihoon speeds up, thrusting erratically as he bends forwards, folding Hyunsuk's leg in the process to lock his lips with the other. The new angle makes Jihoon's cock plunges even deeper, earning stifled moans from Hyunsuk, swallowed by Jihoon's kisses.

"Jihoonie, I want--"

"Come, come for me, hyung," replies Jihoon, granting permission as the man himself is so, so close to fucking explode.

Hyunsuk arches his back, hand stroking his aching cock in haste before he finally comes, hot cum spurting to the leaders’ stomach, mouth opens in a silent cry. As soon as he does, Jihoon senses Hyunsuk's wall tightening around his cock, making him shudders and groans and sees nothing but white. The younger leader comes inside, emptying his seed into the condom, surrounded by the other's warmth. 

Jihoon feels light and content as he collapses on top of the eldest; head under the other's chin, snuggles closely, as his hand rests on Hyunsuk's chest, feeling the rapid heartbeat beneath. While the younger tries to control his breathing, soft fingers caress his red wine hair, with love and tenderness that Jihoon never thought he'll ever get from the eldest.

Jihoon savors the moment with the man he'll call lover from today onwards; listening, breathing, finally living as Hyunsuk feeds him with so much love, he'll sleep feeling full and satisfied. 

-

The fullness only lasts for a night though, as the hunger never leaves.

Just like the need for food, Jihoon's need for Hyunsuk will always remain, but now, it's far more bearable than before. It calms every time Hyunsuk calls Jihoon to giggle over some stupid shit with his contagious laugh. It calms every time their hands tangled on their way home after munching Hyunsuk's favorite burgers. It even disappears for a moment when puffy-eyed Hyunsuk whispers _I love you, Jihoonie,_ when they're alone in the car on the day Treasure finally debuted.

On better days, the hunger becomes a slave of Hyunsuk, responding and complying with his every move. But on worst days, it _roars._ These are the days where smiles and light touches aren't enough. Jihoon feels so peckish and greedy for Hyunsuk's skin and cry and love; once, he kicked everyone out of the dorm, bullshitting about the place being cleaned or something, just so he could fuck Hyunsuk against the kitchen table. They have defiled most of the furniture, actually, to the point Hyunsuk meekly admits to his lover he feels guilty whenever he sees the maknaes sitting on the sofa where he just gave Jihoon a blowjob. 

The man himself finds this absolutely hilarious, he almost chokes on his own spit if only there isn't a naked, pouting Hyunsuk currently bouncing on his lap.

"Stop laughing while I'm on your dick!"

"Sorry, sorry, it's just-- hyung, honestly, can you imagine their faces when they know they've been eating at the table that once full of cu--"

"Ya! Stop it!"

Hyunsuk throws several light punches at Jihoon before the younger finally yields. The eldest frowns and glares, though to Jihoon's eyes it's akin to one of those angry puppy memes he saw online. Jihoon rolls his eyes playfully before flipping their position and showers the eldest with feathery kisses along his neck.

They move again, in rhythm, until the room fills with the sound of moans and sighs and skin slapping to another. When the pleasure overflows, they come with their lips press against each other, whispering sweet words of affection.

When they part, Hyunsuk stares at his beloved, quietly wondering,

"Are you sated?"

Something instantly growls, something wild and hungry. The beast uncaged, with its bottomless stomach, always ready to feast.

Jihoon flashes a wicked smile,

_"Never."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe


	6. epilogue

Blanket on the floor, forgotten and wrecked. Heart racing, quietly anticipating.

Choi Hyunsuk is sobbing-- happily aching for skin, for touch, for anything the man on top of him can give him tonight. It's been a lifetime of burying feelings and trying to move on, from the day a young boy steals his heart at first sight. He wants more, more the person he can't stop falling in love with for four years now.

So when the person says he _does_ love him, would you blame the man for feeling so much angst he could barely hold it in. Dangerously close to pour his heart out and scream about all the time he blames himself for wanting the other in secret.

"Hyunsuk-hyung, I--"

_Yes, me too, me too,_ Hyunsuk would say if he wasn't so busy moaning and crying at the same time. Explaining isn't necessary right now, because starting tonight, there will be no hearts breaking or ugly denials.

From now on, there will always be a feast fit for a beautiful, starving Park Jihoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading until the very end! I cant believe this is all just started from 100words drabble lol your kind words and supports really kept me going to finish the fic. I hope sukhoon has more crumbs in the future so sukhoon fam get bigger too hshshs 
> 
> and thats all folks! see you around💙

**Author's Note:**

> [Carrd](https://teumefromthesea.carrd.co/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/teumefromthesea) | [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/teumefromthesea)


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